the feauture
cabj90

Hi again.
So i dont have a lot of friends on here at  all.. which is okay cuz i have mostely just looked at peoples entries and sometiems posted too.
But i've been away from here for over 6 months now.. i tried to recover and instead i ended up binging a lot so i gained everything back.. then i got very ill and because i literally couldnt eat anything else than oatmeal porridge, i lost 11-13 kg. in about 4 weeks! Now i've gained 7 kg. back and i really wanna have control again! I've had some salad, a little fruit, and im mostly glad that im getting used to not eat so much anymore.. my plan is to eat less and less by time because "cold turky" is just too hard and i'll really end up binging then,.. a lot!
this is for hope, life and control! and a dream of the perfect body that i will get in the end!

thank you♥


(no subject)
cabj90
Finally home again.
I've had a major binge on my trip to England, for a whole month! It is horrible...
Chips, crisps, sausages, pizza, chokolate, cakes.. everything got down and i tried to stop, but it didn't work.
And now i've gained and im afraid to go on the scale,.. to look into the mirror even!

Gained :'(
cabj90

So first i reached my goal weight, and then i gain it back so im again around the 61 kg :(
I ate cake, buns with butter and chokolate, bread with garlic-cheese etc. today and its only 15.00 in the afternoon :O

Im playing The sims2 at the moment when im not on the internet. It takes my mind off things..
Im home sick from school today, which is really bad :( i cant purge what i eat either, and it's weird, cuz when im sick i usually have to throw up anyway, but this time i cant get ANYTHING up! It's so fucking messed up! God!


(no subject)
cabj90
Oh god i feel sick after eating today. I wanna purge, but should i?
I don't want food, that's good. I get the food in my mouth, but i don't want to swallow so i spit it out again. It feels good doing that.
Im going to bed. Not thinking about the food, it has actually been a great day today. I was with a new guy friend today, and it was much of fun.
We faught eachother just for fun, cuz he kept taking my phone. i know he was just teasing me, and it was fun :P

Nighty night every one :)

(no subject)
cabj90

It allright today.. I have to go to the fitness even though I don't want to. 
But I havent been there much this week so I need to, if I don't want to gain more weight.

nice day to ya all


(no subject)
cabj90
It has been allright today. 
I had a day from 8.25 - 11.30 and after school me and two from my class just walked around down town. It was really nice because we were not usually together,  we were laughing and having a good time,. And at the end of it we split up and realized we had just spend a lovely time together, just because the guy we were with, didn't know the city, so we showed him around a little.
That was real great. 

A bad mood
cabj90

My mom is so irritating. She bugs me all the time.Why won't she leave me TF alone?! 
Im F 17 and I don't need a baby sitter!

Jesus, My mood is jsut real bad today. I gonna workout today and be with my best friend.


Hey....
cabj90

Jesus, I'm in a lousy state. I've eat so much yesterday and today... It's just bad. I hate It I feel like I've gained a hundred pounds:(  I just want not to eat so much. I have actually gained like 2 pounds:( And I have to go to this party tonight. I feel fat and gross....

Mark: the picture is an old one... Taking a new in a couple of days.


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